(What catches your eye in this picture? The hot sex? Or the stretch marks on the boys’ hips, thighs and asses?)
You’re driving me up the wall, ladies. So fucking eager to please, you are.
Why do you spend hours of your precious time writing to random men and women (you should see my inbox some mornings) to ask for their approval?
You ask if you’re okay. Are your labia too large? Are your areolae too big? What’s too large/too big? Is there a special ruler you can use to make sure, down to the last tenth of an inch, that you’ll do? Where can you order that?
You ask about height and weight and pubic hair.
You even write to me and ask how you can make sure your pussy smells good.
Really? Really? This is where you’re at?
Stop, just stop. Stop being so fucking eager to please. Where are the things you want? Where are your needs in all of this? Your preferences?
Are you horrified by a specific type of foreskin? Do stretch marks on someone’s ass make you sick? Does the thickness of your beloved’s sedentary geek body turn you off?
I honestly don’t think so. In most cases, I honestly don’t think it does.
A real person, male or female, doesn’t obsess about your pubic hair. If they see some of that hair, that means they might be getting laid soon. Awesome.
A real person, male or female, doesn’t obsess about the way your pussy smells. It’s pussy. It smells like pussy. You play with it, then fuck it. Awesome.
A real person, male or female, doesn’t give a flying fuck about the relative size of your whatevers. They’re sexy body parts. They’re there to be nuzzled, licked, stroked, sucked, kissed, adored. Awesome.
And if some person does mind, does have something to say about any of the above things, well, then - that’s awesome, too. Fucking fantastic, even - you have a litmus test for weeding out assholes.
Just stand up, roll your eyes, get dressed, roll your eyes again, and leave, never to come back.
Then go find a real person to fuck.